i feel like shutting myself from the world, away from everyone, just be alone in the dark under pouring rain.

or just take my brain out to let it rest from all those thinking.

dig my heart out for it may feel nothing for a moment in time.

let my body drain out every strength there is as if i could float.

can i not be me for awhile?

i wanna break free from causing more pain.

for my heart is meant to be empty.

for i is meant to be lonely.

i hate myself.

eLaiNe signing off uneasy each and everyday..

been so disturbed lately.

its getting harder and harder to fall asleep.

especially at night, when its quiet.

i'll start to think.

am i just being too paranoid?

i just want all those unhappy thoughts to disappear real badly.

its like they're haunting me.

sighs.

i wish everything never happened.

eLaiNe signing off lost.